Bottle Buff Pillows

"Have I (hic) godda deal for you."

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'Okay, which is it; the wine you served the Stewarts 6 weeks ago, or the wine you're serving them 6 weeks from now?'

'The merlot is 100 merlot; the pinot noir is 100 pinot noir, and the chardonnay is 100 Swiss chard.'

Wine Tasting Club

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

'You people in Napa really take your wine seriously.'

'No wonder they call themselves Miracle Vineyards. The label says this red is 50 Merlot, 50 Cabernet and 50 Sangiovese.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'Ooh, this is an old one. I'll bet it's worth its weight in oil.'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

A man polishes a giant wine bottle.

A Good Batch.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

The Alpha Seltzer

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

Surreal ale

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

French horn.

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

National Coffee Day

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'Who's the new guy?'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'You've had enough.'