Bottle Message Buff Pillows

'How are the memoirs coming along?'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'It's for you.'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

Desert Planet

In and Out tray filled with messages in bottles on a manned desk on a desert Island

'It says...desperately seeking someone to explain the difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act...'

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

'Ooh, this is an old one. I'll bet it's worth its weight in oil.'

'The merlot is 100 merlot; the pinot noir is 100 pinot noir, and the chardonnay is 100 Swiss chard.'

'They're automating the bottling process? Why? Just yesterday, me and my team managed to cork four bottles.'

'We've been offered NATO membership.'

"'Resume In A Bottle'-- Very creative, but we're looking for somebody with a bit more experience."

'I'll never forget you, darling, and I'm saving all your bottles...'

"Have I (hic) godda deal for you."

'Don't forget your p.s.'

Bottle bank

'It's our, 'message in a bottle'... It says; 'Return to sender, due to insufficient postage'.'

Felix Klein Stranded On An Island

"Hooray...Somebody got my message!"

A man polishes a giant wine bottle.

'No wonder they call themselves Miracle Vineyards. The label says this red is 50 Merlot, 50 Cabernet and 50 Sangiovese.'

Island one armed bandit.

'No message - Just a - whatever this is....'

"Junk mail."

'Bloody air mail!'

Wine Tasting Club

Message tied to a brick.

"Disgraceful! A message in a bottle -- in a PLASTIC bottle, if you please!"