Wine Buff T-Shirts

Next time, make sure everyone knows what an oenophile is, before you go around introducing yourelf as one.'

"Waiter, this wine is corked!"

"I detect notes of black cherry with a definite undercurrent of poorly washed dishes."

'Don't just gulp it down like that! Smell the bouquet, savour the flavour on your palate!'

'All he talked about over dinner was wine. How can a person not bring up the subject of shoes even once?'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Yoga for Alcoholics

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Bacchus.

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Sauvignon Bonk

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"