Wind Turbine Warden Gifts

"I can remember when they all had palm trees."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

That party went well.

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

Beaver tower

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

Dog retriving Frisbee

'I see it. You're supposed to get it!'

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

"Yeah, a merry Christmas to you too."

Bird Symbol Hunting

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

'It's not easy to get one of these - before that you have to have found a parking space!'

'Oh, it is so totally on, now!'

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

'I'm sorry. I have to cite you because the frog you kissed and turned into a prince was an endangered species.'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Wolf Reintroduction.

'The bears are very well-behaved.'

'Can I see your license,please?'

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

Forest rangers prevent forest fires

At the gallery of Fine Art.

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

'I've battened down the TV to protect us from weather reports.'

'Yes, it is last year's hunting license, but I'm only hunting the ones I missed last year.'

'Perhaps the fish don't realize you have a license to catch them.'

"I'll let you ticket this one, Mick."

"Can i get a transfer from the porcupine enclosure..?