Will Writer Gifts

'I'm making out my will. Is there anything you want me to leave to you, other than debt?'

"Leave me alone. I'm deciding who to leave out of my will."

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

Law Offices. Ernie's client left his fortune to his dog, and his cat is contesting the will.

Wills and Lover's Leap.

'You want to leave your body to science - how about someone with A-level science?'

"I want to leave everything to my cat."

'... and to my yoga instructor, I leave my entire body.'

Do you want to be buried or cremated? - I'm not sure... - Well, would you rather risk being buried alive or burned alive? - Okay, okay. Cremated. - That wasn't so difficult, was it?

'I want to leave my body to the medical school, and my mind to the psychiatric hospital.'

'...and to his son, he has left his leprosy...'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Bond James, Bond."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'How fast can you hype?'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Squeezing the Free Press.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.