Will Enthusiast Gifts

"Anyone who isn't specifically named in the will still receives one of these valuable gift bags."

'Your grandfather's will is quite specific. You just get his ashes... and those only after they're been sifted and any gold teeth removed!'

"And to Edward, who claimed he married me for my mind, I leave my brain."

'... And to Mable, I leave whatever was on the trap at the time of my death. '

Welcome to the Team

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

Wordplay: In The Bag.

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

'That's the first cubicle I ever worked in.'

Not thinking BIG enough: Nickel & Dime Bank.

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

"I've been reading a book of famous quotations. It's amazing how many are by a famous Greek named Anonymous."

'Quotes, woof, woof, woof, woof, closed quotes.'

Wish upon a star (well it's worth a try).

"It's a long term goal."

Wall Street has a one way arrow upwards.

"You'll find I'm highly motivated and ambitious...oh, is this your desk?"

I'm willing to start at the bottom and work my way up to your job..

"He's a psychopath with megalomanic tendencies...I like that in a candidate!"

"Keep up the good work and there'll probably be a nice promotion in it for me."

Frog Prince thinks: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horsefly.'

X-RAY

'In five year's time?... I see myself on that side of the desk telling you it's a great shame, thanks for all your hard work, but I'm going to have to let you go!'

Stephen Fry.

What is possible/what is probable.

Oscar Wilde

"There's no denying that you are ambitious but we are looking for someone with more dress sense."

'I realize money can't buy happiness, so I'm just trying to improve the exchange rate.'

"Shape up, son! You want to be a dung beetle the rest of your life?"

"I started out on a molehill - What about you?"

Desk at the Horizon