Will Wizard Gifts

'He kept changing his will. In the end, it all went to legal fees.'

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

'I guess you'd call it a queer request. He wants his ashes put in a fruit jar and hidden in the closet.'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

Miss America IQ Pageant

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

D.I.Y

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

Texturing the Walls

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"Of course, it's MY hair - I've still got the receipt!"

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

Emma Watson

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

Best Special Effects Award

"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."

'Always the wise guy.'

"Right! It's a heart op, neurosurgery and counselling. And I'll have the Wiz"