Wit Wizards Gifts

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Backfire

Snowprov

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"Puss in cement boots"

Miss America IQ Pageant

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Czarcasm

Doggone

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

Show and Tell: 'These came from our orgasmic garden.'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Shakespeare Quote

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Yakety-Yak

"Of course, it's MY hair - I've still got the receipt!"

"I guess laughter wasn’t the best medicine."

UBLIC RELATIONS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

The Mummy's Purse...