Wit Wonder Gifts

"Freudian Slip"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Snowprov

Backfire

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Miss America IQ Pageant

Doggone

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Czarcasm

Wordplay: In The Bag.

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

Wordplay: Export.

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Note Book

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

Punch Drunk

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

Graph to find your IQ

Paper Boy

Airport

'I don't do 'Goodbyes' ...'

'He never listened to his mother!'

Stephen Fry.

Your resume is only 8 words long! You're hired!

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."