Will Drafting Gifts

"I want to change my testimony so it only contains the word: BAAAAAH!"

'It seems in the case of the late Little Miss Tuffet, where there's a will there's a whey.'

'What'll it be?'

The MBA Draft

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

Baseball Fantasy League Draft. 27 Trout. Everybody wants that rare player who can do it all on their team. Yeah, a player that hits for average and hits for power! Who is also terrific with a glove and has a strong throwing arm. All along with having great speed! Excuse me, I just don't understand it. Why are you always making such a big deal over a five-tool player?!

Contest of wills.

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

"And nobody noticed the crease in the blueprint?"

'Well, it was just a first draft.'

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"...And to my favorite 'Mr. Down On His Luck' relative, I leave all my spare change."

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

In an alternate universe, characters from the rough draft and finished manuscript of the same novel meet themselves at a cocktail party.

Law Offices. Ernie's client left his fortune to his dog, and his cat is contesting the will.

'This contract proposal needs more work. I'm not experiencing any twinges of guilt over it.'

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

'... and to my yoga instructor, I leave my entire body.'

'...and the Brewery are considering giving you a loyaly card!'

'...and to his son, he has left his leprosy...'

'I'll read the will.' - 'I don't like the look of this.'

"If I could pick just one keepsake, I think it would be the mutual funds."

'...Mom said i can have it!' 'No way! She promised I get the painting!'

'I 'Marvo the magician', being of right mind...have taken it with me.'

'I guess you'd call it a queer request. He wants his ashes put in a fruit jar and hidden in the closet.'

The estate goes toy unless your relative shows up, he does.

'I want to leave my body to the medical school, and my mind to the psychiatric hospital.'

"I want to leave everything to my cat."