Wilderness Wit Gifts

'Darling, does your Swiss army knife have a garlic press?'

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Support Group for a Good Problem

Snowprov

Sausages.

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

Sport Utility Boot.

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Fred's Canadian caribou hunt goes from bad to worse.

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

Civilized Salmon

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

"Come on in. The water’s fine!" "Hmm! What’s wrong with this picture?!"

Desert Island Mishap

Snowman of the Apes

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."

"Some trees in New Hampshire hate being hugged."

'On second thought dear, I think it's your turn to make breakfast.'

Women of the Wilderness

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 11.

'Aw,hunting season is a cleansing time. A time to forget about my worries...'

The Boxing Glove Diet was working for Bertram.

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

"Oh Wow! Shooting star!"