Woodland Wit Gifts

'I'd give it five minutes.'

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

Wildlife

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Backfire

Snowprov

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Doggone

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

Czarcasm

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

A rabbit giving another rabbit, 'rabbit ears'.

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

"I brought cocoa."

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

Snowman of the Apes

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

Tree Funeral

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.