Wildlife Wit Gifts

Misguided Hairstyles of The Animal World.

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

A Guide to Stick-Shaped Creatures

Hunters wait in bushes near sign: The Buck Stops Here.

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

'Fancy a swift half?'

'Uh-Oh... I better watch my legs! There comes a cook - o - dile!'

A guilty looking lion at the Missing Persons booth.

"Forget the old and the sick. I'm going after the young and the healthy!"

"They're bifocal glasses: I can use them to read as well as to see long distance when I'm charging..."

"He, he, let's see them try to explain elephant tracks!"

"Does state game law require me to tag him?"

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Happy Gnu Year!"

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Too much concealer?"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Eat me"

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'Pray for me.'

Civilized Salmon

Giraffe Portrait

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Crow and fox

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"Don't worry, it's not rabies: It's normal for me to foam at the mouth..."