Widower Finding Love Gifts

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'It's a shame you didn't get to use all those little blue pills before Ted died.'

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

"Apparently the will was typed up wrong and UCLA got all your husband's money...and you get his brain!"

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

Tasty.

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

Ultimately love would find her...

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"We got him onto an exercise bike, but I'm afraid it was too late."

"Well, I can say if it wasn't for tragedy, I would not be here."

"It's all about compromise. He's not dishwasher safe and I'm not microwave safe, but we make it work."

"I'm afraid Larry sleeps with more than just the fishes."

"You like taking long walks in the rain? My dogs will love you!"

'Wow - My kind of man.'

We found each other the first time either of us tried online dating! It was love at first website!

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

'We met online.'

'Your late husband requests a status up date on how his stocks are doing...'

"Would it kill you to help around the house for once?!"

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

"I'm a free woman. Edgar tried to cross the road."

Arnold Hazlet and beloved wife Tamira (unless she married that guy across the street)

Widow shows a portrait of herself

Lady to tombstone: 'Sam, I invested all of your money in an IPO last week ... we're millionaires!'

An elderly woman with a heart-shaped ear trumpet

"Dead! How do you know he's dead? You're a dermatologist."