Whisky Expert Gifts

"Hmm...Will I have my coffee with brandy or with whisky?"

In the Guru District

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Join me in a Martini?

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

Trump Poutine

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

Which Hogwarts house are you?

"Hey, who wants to hear a great single-malt story."

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

The Babe calls his shot.

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

The Angel's Share

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

'If you don't start feeling better in 24 hours, pour yourself a tall scotch.'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

'That's a tough question. I suppose I should be served with a dry red.'

Whiskey Bottle - Well it doesn't look like a paperweight to me.