Whisky Explorer Gifts

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Low-Energy Drinks

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

Wine taster with mineral water

'Malty tasking.'

Rugby Players and Supporters Essential Supplies

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Fount of eternal youth/brewery.

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

Complaints Desk

What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.

Wine of the Day Club

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

"So much for that vintage!"

Anton's Bar and Grill

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

California Beverages Map

'Well, it was just a first draft.'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

Real Beer People

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."