Whisky Expert T-Shirts

"Hmm...Will I have my coffee with brandy or with whisky?"

In the Guru District

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Join me in a Martini?

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Trump Poutine

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

"Hey, who wants to hear a great single-malt story."

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

Which Hogwarts house are you?

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

"Is that neat whisky?"

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

The Angel's Share

Whiskey Bottle - Well it doesn't look like a paperweight to me.

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'If you don't start feeling better in 24 hours, pour yourself a tall scotch.'

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'