Whimsical Conversationalist Gifts

"I think I have allergies to something in this room."

Nature calling.

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

The Artist

Swan Fairy Tales

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Lactose Intolerant

'Are you made of sugar?'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Cat fishing whilst fish fly overhead.

Dogs and their thoughts

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"I said slime."

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

'He takes his doodling very seriously.'

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"Scuba cow"

Today's Special: Rabbit Stew

"Yes, one is a dog."

Selfie Stick

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

Spring Training

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'