Whimsical Conversationalist T-Shirts

"I think I have allergies to something in this room."

Nature calling.

"Hey! Pipe down over there! Can't you read the subtitle?"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

The Artist

Swan Fairy Tales

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Lactose Intolerant

'Are you made of sugar?'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Cat fishing whilst fish fly overhead.

Dogs and their thoughts

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"Yes, one is a dog."

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

Spring Training

Selfie Stick

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

'He takes his doodling very seriously.'

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Today's Special: Rabbit Stew

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Scuba cow"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"I said slime."

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."