Wheely Enthusiast Gifts

Precious bike

He won't sit, but he heels well.

Touring Cyclist

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

A smiling cyclist

"I have special needs-- good food, warm bed, fresh water, and plenty of room to pop wheelies!"

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

Rollerblader wears a cast and has wheels on crutches

"Here comes the super-visor."

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

'You got here just in time - These shoes are killing you.'

"Once he invented the wheel, it was only a matter of time before he came up with the food truck."

"Oh, shut up. Who isn't in your shoes?"

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'

"I just adore these shoes! The clicking of staccato heels is so empowering. . . Do these come in a flat?"

"I always wear 5 inch heels to a doctor's appointment. That makes me the perfect weight for my height."

Man and woman with laundry

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

'V. K. Duvine and Prodigal Son (if he comes back)

'He says he comes from a planet the size of Wales, dear.'

Carole Jean's First "Big Girl" Heels

"Thank God I'm nowhere near bodily fluids!"

Beaten up man to Good Samaritan: 'Thank you. My insurance doesn't cover roadside service.'

High heel

'A bike this nice, I didn't think you'd mind me bathing it in your bathtub. Do you have an extra blanket, it'll be sleeping in our room.'

The Fashion Industry Disappears: 'Oh God, what comfortable shoes.'

"If I didn't know before I sure as hell know who Manolo Blahnik is now."

"He married her for her stuff."

'I have a heightened sense of awareness these days of what's going on around me. It may be the three inch heels.'

Mine and Countermine

Wheelies Gang.

Person of the Decade

'I can't wait to be shorn of all this wooly symbolism.'

I love my prostiboots

'I don't have it in your size. Is that a problem?'