Wheely Enthusiast Gifts

Precious bike

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

Touring Cyclist

A smiling cyclist

"I have special needs-- good food, warm bed, fresh water, and plenty of room to pop wheelies!"

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

Rollerblader wears a cast and has wheels on crutches

"Here comes the super-visor."

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

'You got here just in time - These shoes are killing you.'

"Once he invented the wheel, it was only a matter of time before he came up with the food truck."

"Oh, shut up. Who isn't in your shoes?"

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'

"I just adore these shoes! The clicking of staccato heels is so empowering. . . Do these come in a flat?"

"I always wear 5 inch heels to a doctor's appointment. That makes me the perfect weight for my height."

Man and woman with laundry

'V. K. Duvine and Prodigal Son (if he comes back)

Carole Jean's First "Big Girl" Heels

'He says he comes from a planet the size of Wales, dear.'

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

"Thank God I'm nowhere near bodily fluids!"

Beaten up man to Good Samaritan: 'Thank you. My insurance doesn't cover roadside service.'

High heel

'A bike this nice, I didn't think you'd mind me bathing it in your bathtub. Do you have an extra blanket, it'll be sleeping in our room.'

"If I didn't know before I sure as hell know who Manolo Blahnik is now."

The Fashion Industry Disappears: 'Oh God, what comfortable shoes.'

"He married her for her stuff."

'I have a heightened sense of awareness these days of what's going on around me. It may be the three inch heels.'

Wheelies Gang.

Person of the Decade

Mine and Countermine

I love my prostiboots

'I can't wait to be shorn of all this wooly symbolism.'

'I don't have it in your size. Is that a problem?'

"Yeah, it's all grown locally. Just not locally around here."