Western Story Fan Gifts

"Meet the author"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Nun Fight.

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

Historic Bank Jobs.

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

'OK, let's see who's going to be the pack horse today: Heads or tails?'

Crossing the Nachos Grande

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

'Mama! Aliens.'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'And what makes you think this is hostile terrain, Hank?'

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

Old West Bounty Hunter.

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

Domestic Pardners

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

"When a cowboy wears it, it is a cowboy hat."

Brewery Lorry has Saloon Doors.

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

A Modern Day Cowboy and his Horse.

Cowboy

'If we survive this, you are totally walking home.'

Cattlemans Saloon.

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

"Gee, Marshal, he must have been one of the good guys"

"I've done this show six hundred thirty-seven times. Tonight in Act Two I'm going to sing 'The Jet Song' from 'West Side Story'."

"It just don't feel right, drinking him like that."

Uh-oh!