Western Story Fan Gifts

"Meet the author"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Nun Fight.

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

'OK, let's see who's going to be the pack horse today: Heads or tails?'

Historic Bank Jobs.

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

Crossing the Nachos Grande

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

'Mama! Aliens.'

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

Old West Bounty Hunter.

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'And what makes you think this is hostile terrain, Hank?'

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

Domestic Pardners

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

"When a cowboy wears it, it is a cowboy hat."

Brewery Lorry has Saloon Doors.

"Gee, Marshal, he must have been one of the good guys"

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

'If we survive this, you are totally walking home.'

Cowboy

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

A Modern Day Cowboy and his Horse.

Cattlemans Saloon.

"I've done this show six hundred thirty-seven times. Tonight in Act Two I'm going to sing 'The Jet Song' from 'West Side Story'."

"It just don't feel right, drinking him like that."