Western Storytelling Fan Gifts

"It strikes me you're making a deal more fuss over this than it calls for, Dan'l."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Meet the author"

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Nun Fight.

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

Dawing your Cellphone

Crossing the Nachos Grande

Historic Bank Jobs.

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

'OK, let's see who's going to be the pack horse today: Heads or tails?'

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'And what makes you think this is hostile terrain, Hank?'

'Mama! Aliens.'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'I always thought a dogfight was a lot of snarling and walking around stiff-legged.'

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

"They tell me you're a man who has True Magritte."

Old West Bounty Hunter.

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

Domestic Pardners