Western Nostalgist Gifts

"Indians, schmindians! I needed that package before noon!"

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Dawing your Cellphone

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I always thought a dogfight was a lot of snarling and walking around stiff-legged.'

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

"They tell me you're a man who has True Magritte."

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

Louis L'Amour hones his craft.

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

Cowboy at mechanic with horse hoisted

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

'You may be a jolly happy soul Frosty, but you stink at poker!'

I love the way barbecues take you back to nature.

"It's a sad state of affairs when Lever House begins to seem like a warm old friend."

Wild West Text Showdown

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

If you give a mouse a french cookie

Lee Van Cleef

'Just a trim for me thanks.'

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

CW 'Text' Yomp Sidekicks: Attorneys-at-law,