Welfare Programs Gifts

Kids and the economy

'The great thing is, the poor won't be able to squander it on luxuries such as dignity, equality and hope!'

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

Dolestart - A New Initiative

Social Worker

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

"The government is adamant that a policy of removing income support from lone parents with children over 7 is in the best interests of the treasury."

Policeman talking to lost child

"I suppose you're worried about your little peasant benefits."

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

Just Another Sloe News Day

Throwing out baby with the bath water.

Victim of Sequestration!

"Uh-huh, I see... and how did you get along with the other adopted sections of this highway?"

"This is your social worker Mrs Bigworth, she's brought your care package."

"Hi Ho Hi Ho It's to benefits we go..."

"Why not become a prison officer when you're released, Dobson? We need 2,000 new prison officers; the government's keen to provide employment for ex-offenders plus you know the ropes."

Iain Duncan Smith: Welfare reform

"Hi, I'm on the scrounge"

Vouchers, Vouchers, Vouchers

'... And how long has your civil list been frozen?'

"But on my claim form, it definitely says Universal credit..!!"

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."

'And finally before I can permit you to shop in this store, have you ever raised your voice to a member of staff on any prvious occasion ?'

"I should like a commission on that child tax credit."

Paris-ites

'...and there's the DSS!'

Retirement Suddenly Feels Kind of Moot

'Let's see if you qualify for a handout. How many nuts do you have currently, and where are they buried?'

"The benefits agency is always willing to be flexible...but only under certain limited clearly defined circumstances."

'You got yourself a job? -- Don't you care what happens to me?'

'Taking money from the old and disabled is despicable!' - 'If I was in politics it would be called bold and innovative.'

'Let's see - I'll need better education and healthcare. . . did I mention I can't afford any of this.'