Welfare Gifts

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

Having my Social Security reduced isn't what I wanted when I voted Republican! Please help!

'And the meek shall inherit the world...providing their benefits aren't capped at £26,000 per annum...'

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

"The government is adamant that a policy of removing income support from lone parents with children over 7 is in the best interests of the treasury."

'The great thing is, the poor won't be able to squander it on luxuries such as dignity, equality and hope!'

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

Dolestart - A New Initiative

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

Policeman talking to lost child

Social Worker

"I suppose you're worried about your little peasant benefits."

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

Kids in conflic zones and schools...

Just Another Sloe News Day

Family courts.

Victim of Sequestration!

"Uh-huh, I see... and how did you get along with the other adopted sections of this highway?"

Throwing out baby with the bath water.

"This is your social worker Mrs Bigworth, she's brought your care package."

"I thought I'd done everything to get a decent pension..."

Vouchers, Vouchers, Vouchers

"Hi, I'm on the scrounge"

Iain Duncan Smith: Welfare reform

"Hi Ho Hi Ho It's to benefits we go..."

'And finally before I can permit you to shop in this store, have you ever raised your voice to a member of staff on any prvious occasion ?'

"I should like a commission on that child tax credit."

Kids and the economy

"The government believes that the benefit system is out of hand!"

'Papi, kids at school are saying Nora and I are illegal...'

'...and there's the DSS!'

Retirement Suddenly Feels Kind of Moot

'It's your headmaster, Fatty. He's worried you're being bullied at school.'

'Let's see - I'll need better education and healthcare. . . did I mention I can't afford any of this.'