Public Welfare Gifts

'You got yourself a job? -- Don't you care what happens to me?'

"This is your social worker Mrs Bigworth, she's brought your care package."

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Why Cows Leave Home

'The great thing is, the poor won't be able to squander it on luxuries such as dignity, equality and hope!'

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

"Efficiency savings...protect front line services BLAH! BLAH! refocus on core objectives BLAH BLAH!"

Dolestart - A New Initiative

Snow Plow Driver Relaxing at Home.

Policeman talking to lost child

Social Worker

"The government is adamant that a policy of removing income support from lone parents with children over 7 is in the best interests of the treasury."

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

Whitehall: Gave honest impartial advice

'The government is telling us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets within the next 6 months!'

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

"I suppose you're worried about your little peasant benefits."

Kids in conflic zones and schools...

"He just doesn't know what to do with himself since he got elected to Congress."

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

Just Another Sloe News Day

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

'This isn't an easy business- you have to stoop low and be high-handed at the same time.'

Family courts.

U.S.Postal Service - Then and Now

'The Senator's afraid he's irked his base. I don't know if he needs political advice or medical attention.'

Throwing out baby with the bath water.

CONGRESS, 'You know, we wouldn't need a pay hike if we got commissions on our appropriations.'

"Sorry, we only do cats in trees."

Captain Thomas Coram.