Workplace Welfare Gifts

'And finally before I can permit you to shop in this store, have you ever raised your voice to a member of staff on any prvious occasion ?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Staff support"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'What's wrong now?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'The great thing is, the poor won't be able to squander it on luxuries such as dignity, equality and hope!'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Torn-Off Mouse.

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'