Welfare Systems Gifts

"I suppose you're worried about your little peasant benefits."

'The great thing is, the poor won't be able to squander it on luxuries such as dignity, equality and hope!'

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

Dolestart - A New Initiative

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

"The government is adamant that a policy of removing income support from lone parents with children over 7 is in the best interests of the treasury."

Social Worker

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

Just Another Sloe News Day

Throwing out baby with the bath water.

Victim of Sequestration!

"Uh-huh, I see... and how did you get along with the other adopted sections of this highway?"

"This is your social worker Mrs Bigworth, she's brought your care package."

"Hi, I'm on the scrounge"

"Hi Ho Hi Ho It's to benefits we go..."

Iain Duncan Smith: Welfare reform

"But on my claim form, it definitely says Universal credit..!!"

'... And how long has your civil list been frozen?'

'And finally before I can permit you to shop in this store, have you ever raised your voice to a member of staff on any prvious occasion ?'

Retirement Suddenly Feels Kind of Moot

Kids and the economy

'...and there's the DSS!'

Paris-ites

'Let's see if you qualify for a handout. How many nuts do you have currently, and where are they buried?'

"The benefits agency is always willing to be flexible...but only under certain limited clearly defined circumstances."

'You got yourself a job? -- Don't you care what happens to me?'

'What have you got on how to apply for Government handouts?'

'Let's see - I'll need better education and healthcare. . . did I mention I can't afford any of this.'

'You lot are wrong - he's fit enough to get back up there!'

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

Food stamps: 'The boss said we didn't need a union, he'd take care of our retirement.'

"It's no use making all that fuss - there's no such thing as attention seekers allowance."

'Social security benefits are raising ... but the system's runnin' out of bread.'