Welcoming Humor Gifts

'That's what I call well trained gun dogs.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Welcome to the Team

Reagacentennial

'Guy comes up with one interesting theory about special relativity, suddenly he thinks he's freakin' Einstein,'

Antiwar Democrats Get Tough

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

The Art of Misdirection

"She was a rescue."

"Damn it, Hopkins, didn't you get yesterday's memo?"

'How now, brown cow?'

"You mean to tell me I can only vote against one Congressman?"

'The attack will have to wait until tomorrow Congressman. Today is furlough day. . .'

"I figure if I don't have that third martini, then the terrorists win."

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

Trump's Speechwriters

"Are you sure that this is the correct dress for a political event?"

Brexit Trip

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

"Buck up, go home and be nice to the new kitty."

Nick Clegg.

"Before I continue, can we just lose the personal trainers?"

Under Canvas

'Dear Oscar, such a dry sense of humour.'

'. . . But where's the beef?'

Spock visits the Orthopedics

Repeal and Reject

Citizenship test no 17, 'the t-shirt over head'.

"51st State, eh?!"

Unpopular Christmas cookie shapes

'We didn't see any radiation.'

"See what a few beers mingled with some great ideas will do for the boss?"