Welcoming Humor Pillows

'That's what I call well trained gun dogs.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Welcome to the Team

'Guy comes up with one interesting theory about special relativity, suddenly he thinks he's freakin' Einstein,'

The Art of Misdirection

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"She was a rescue."

"Damn it, Hopkins, didn't you get yesterday's memo?"

"You mean to tell me I can only vote against one Congressman?"

"I figure if I don't have that third martini, then the terrorists win."

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

'The attack will have to wait until tomorrow Congressman. Today is furlough day. . .'

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

Trump's Speechwriters

"Are you sure that this is the correct dress for a political event?"

Brexit Trip

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

"Buck up, go home and be nice to the new kitty."

"Before I continue, can we just lose the personal trainers?"

'We didn't see any radiation.'

Unpopular Christmas cookie shapes

"51st State, eh?!"

Nick Clegg.

Citizenship test no 17, 'the t-shirt over head'.

'. . . But where's the beef?'

'Dear Oscar, such a dry sense of humour.'

"See what a few beers mingled with some great ideas will do for the boss?"

Under Canvas

No Coin Flipping