Weight-watcher Warrior Gifts

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"How's the new diet working out?"

Instagram!!!

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bench Press Accident

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"We're exclusively delts."

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Dieting Motivation.

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

Scales

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

Fat man on scales.

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'