Weight-watching Warrior Gifts

'The best thing about Ann's Aerobics, is it's location.'

How much did you lose on your 14 day diet?

'I have to go on a diet. Evidently the best things in life aren't fat free!!'

Dieting Motivation.

'It took a lot of willpower but I finally gave up dieting.'

Woman weighs herself on scales, holding helium balloons.

"The economy is sagging and so is Walter."

"Oh come on!... How can I only have lost two ounces?!"

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Bench Press Accident

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

Fat man on scales.

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

Scales

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."