Weight-aware Warrior Gifts

Your weight. Le't just say that I'm now the economy size.

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Bench Press Accident

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Ring for Service.

" ... then subtract 75 pounds for the cat ... "

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

"I'll have what's left of my people get in touch with what's left of your people."

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

"Oh come on!... How can I only have lost two ounces?!"

'What we have here is a hostage situation - There's a thin person inside you screaming to get out.'

Genie.

'That old 'diet and exercise scam' again!'

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

'Holding in your stomach won't help, sir.'

'This will a short meeting on the company's ‘Lose Weight' campaign. Ed can't hold his belly in for more than 9 minutes.'

'Are you sure this is only the 100kg?'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'I think it's time for you to start on your cooling-down exercises.'

'Yum Yum Bakery - a subsidiary of Slim-Down Weight Loss Centres.'

How much did you lose on your 14 day diet?

Woman strips on a public scale in order to get a lower reading.

Birthday cakes for Dieters...

'Unfortunately, Mrs. Himner, spot weight reduction is impossible. You need to lose weight overall.'