Weight-loss Philosopher Pillows

"Whoa. Have you lost weight, professor?"

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

Critisize your weight.

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

Stratigraphy

Guy in gym

'Any chance of me being recycled Doc?'

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

We've been coming here for decades, but I still don't understand their idea that the richest person is the one with the most money.

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

Food Pyramid

If Einstein had worked in Fast Food

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

'On my new diet I can eat anything I want, but have to walk 500 miles a day.'

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

Despite the long weeks designing and making his new costume, Death wasn't sure dressing up as a giant burger was striking quite the right note.

Yoga. Welcome back! Thank you. Why did you stop coming? I couldn't decide if I liked yoga, or

'Relax! I just read somewhere that 142 pounds is the new 125!'

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

I know 'enjoy the day' is the latest trendy, trite pleasantry, but in this store, we stick with the classic, 'Have a nice day'.