Weight-loss Philosopher Pillows

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

Critisize your weight.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

Stratigraphy

Guy in gym

'Any chance of me being recycled Doc?'

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

Food Pyramid

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

'On my new diet I can eat anything I want, but have to walk 500 miles a day.'

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

Despite the long weeks designing and making his new costume, Death wasn't sure dressing up as a giant burger was striking quite the right note.

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

I know 'enjoy the day' is the latest trendy, trite pleasantry, but in this store, we stick with the classic, 'Have a nice day'.

"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"