Dieting Philosopher Pillows

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. It's print out says 'I Quit!'.

Anorexic flora.

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

View to the Future

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

Critisize your weight.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Guy in gym

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

The Politics of Food.

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"First you make a roux."

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'