Weekly Shopper Gifts

'Larry, you forgot the groceries list.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"Everything's gone up."

'What can you get with a quarter?'

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

Everything for a buck.

The Bargain Brand

Fashion Mistake.

How much would you take off for cash?

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

Complex Carbs

Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

Mom & Pop Grocerette

'We're going to need a bigger basket.'

'And don't forget the eggs dear'

Our grocery carts are genetically modified.

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

Discount Shopping.

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

Birthday Party Supplies: Plates, Cups, Decorations, Games, Aspirin, Ibuprofen.

"Hey, buddy. I seeka da mayo."

'You didn't realise she was so expensive? The clue is in the name!'

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

"Honey, while you're out, could you pick up some bric-a-brac?"

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

Stuff you need once then leave at the back of the cupboard to fester

"Here's a bunch of money. We need you to save America...as we know it."

"I see that there's an excellent sale on diddly-squat at the Zilchtown Mall in Nowheresville, New Jersey."