Weekly Shopper Pillows

'Larry, you forgot the groceries list.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"Everything's gone up."

'What can you get with a quarter?'

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

The Bargain Brand

Fashion Mistake.

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

How much would you take off for cash?

Complex Carbs

Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

'And don't forget the eggs dear'

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

Mom & Pop Grocerette

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

Discount Shopping.

Birthday Party Supplies: Plates, Cups, Decorations, Games, Aspirin, Ibuprofen.

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

'You didn't realise she was so expensive? The clue is in the name!'

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

Stuff you need once then leave at the back of the cupboard to fester

"Honey, while you're out, could you pick up some bric-a-brac?"

"Hey, buddy. I seeka da mayo."

"I see that there's an excellent sale on diddly-squat at the Zilchtown Mall in Nowheresville, New Jersey."

Buying roses - 'You got any with no stem?'

"Here's a bunch of money. We need you to save America...as we know it."

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"