Weekly Restaurant Outing Pillows

'Your check? Certainly,sir -- would you like it itemized?'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

The Fourth Little Pig

'Your French dip, sir.'

'A cheeky red?'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

Fast food. Even faster food

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'