Weekend Relaxation Gifts

'No heavy lifting?... But, he's supposed to be clearing out the garage this weekend!'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"What are you looking at?"

Catching the Sun

Comics section is serious while the business section is funny.

Home theatre.

"What'll it be ... scary movies or scary news?"

Glastonbury. After.

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

'I don't think that this whale is beached.'

Clubbing

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

Gulliver's other travels.

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

'The view is much better on the other side of the bus, we'll sit there on the way back.'

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

"Hey Frank, any plans for after church?"

"Oh, God! I had EXACTLY the right amount to drink last night."

Relaxing on a sofa

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

"I don't mind you spending the weekend at the lake with the boys, but don't push your luck by bringing home fish."

No early morning tea past this landing

But MOM! It's no fair being sick on a Saturday! Can't I take a rain check and be sick on Monday?

"Carol, our guests are here, along with the complete L.L. Bean catalogue."

"It's from the Hendersons. They want us to come over this weekend."

"It's Friday afternoon. Let's just call our problems opportunities and leave them for next week."

"Now, before we go, does anyone have to empty their cache?"