Weed Shopper Gifts

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'She's so put together!'

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

'First weeds of spring.'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

"When I heard they legalized weeds, I wanted to be first on the block to let my lawn go."

'The highest court in the land.'

Getting Rid of the Cure

Ladies Fashions - "Money isn't tight - you are!"

'Say, aren't those the same weeds that came up last year?'

'Whenever he stares out the window like that I know he's about to go into a gardening frenzy.'

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

'Just look'in'

"I've found the lawnmower!"

"Say, Bill, how's that new crop of yours doing?"

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

"I need nothing and I want everything."

How to deal with weeds

"If you ask me, you can't go wrong with this beautiful bouquet of marijuana."

"I was trying to grow roses, but I got hit by the 'bluebonnet' plague."

'He's sulking because I caught him licking the cake shop window.'

"Slow down, I want to take a peek in Barneys!"

"What's the big deal? All these politicians talk about a health care plan! I have a health care plan!"

"Ruddy Japanese knotweed gets EVERYWHERE."

Flower shows and weed shows.

"You've got to help me, Tom... my garden is out of control!"

'Pass me the salt, parsley, marjoram, dill, coriander, fennel, basil, nutmeg, rosemary, thyme, oregano, and pepper please.'

"A garden is a thing of beauty and a job for ever."

Welcome to the Garden of Weedin'