Plant Shopper Gifts

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

Yardless: Please help

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Gardening#2

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

Mantis Love

'That plant food really works!'

A Venus cow trap.

An expecting Flower wearing a 'Baby here, arrow t-shirt' saying BUD

The Venus Flytrap Leather Sectional

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

Couple using thier new garden hose in the rain

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

'You're still keen on organic gardening then!'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

Conservation bookshelf has a dead plant on top of it.

Florist "Say it with cacti"

Person carrying balloons and plants.

Pea