Weed Embracer Pillows

'The gardener in him sold out to the nature-conservationist.'

'I blame global warming!'

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

"Must be another paradigm shift."

"You've changed."

"You had me at alternative milk."

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

Some of us are calm on the surface but paddling like crazy underneath, and some of us are just the opposite.

Congratulations!

'In today's economy, it's important to put some of your money under you mattress and bury some in backyard...'

'Relax babe, that's me before the operation,'

You Know You're Old When...

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

'He's doing it again.'

Janus 2021

Old year sits by 'Out' box, and new year sits by 'In' box in office.

Fortune teller predicts a bigger family for worried parents.

"I hope I'm single for Valentine's because only I fully know my worth in chocolate."

Guitarist

"You really think they'll come back to the hill after they've gotten used to working remotely?"

How to deal with weeds

'Reinventing myself.'

'If you're really open to change, you won't go South this year.'

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

New Year baby

"Yes, I specialize in helping people like through the changes ahead: Change is good if you embrace it..."

'There, there, Mrs Hornsby. Many women your age go through menopausal facial hair growth.'

"Please, don't be scared, it's only an idea."

Man rummaging through a TV set throwing out bits of paper

'Oh, Harold...How can I face our family and friends knowing you're a crossdresser?!'

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Great --- Starting from scratch again.

'Hurray! I'm a baby!'

Let It All Hang Out In Celebration. . .