Innovation Embracer Pillows

"Ouch! I still can't get the hang of this new technology!"

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"You had me at alternative milk."

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."

Congratulations!

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

Man feeding origami birds with confetti

"I hope I'm single for Valentine's because only I fully know my worth in chocolate."

"A Clif Bar wrapper? That's why you dragged me up here?!"

'I know you're going to inherit the throne from your father, but I want you to go to medical school just in case.'

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

'Oh, Harold...How can I face our family and friends knowing you're a crossdresser?!'

"Teacher believes in performance-enhancing hugs."

"I see a couple of chairs over there by the naked guy working on his laptop."

At least you didn't marry him.

Let It All Hang Out In Celebration. . .

"Do we look like we filed electronically?"

This Is Your Life

'Congratulations, your days of avoiding the real world are finally over.'

"She's been seeing a very good grief counselor."

"We live here. We just dress this way to fit in."

'Oh s**t, I've been offered a job!'

Welsh Dragon

'I'm putting you on a forced exercise program of walking. Hand over your driver's license!'

"You have my pet and I have my pet!"

Gone were the days of emotional restraint.

Wiggly path leads to 'Alcoholics Anonymous' entrance.

It gets easier.

"Bedtime! It's nice to be getting dressed."