Wedding Planner Humor Gifts

In it for the long haul.

"What what of all the dates I couldn't save, Jimmy."

'Seven days' free approval or no - I tell you it's stuck!'

'Remove this - it's libelous!'

'I'll have to check my engagements book and see if I can fit you in'.

'Lorna?! Jack?! So how long has THIS been going on?'

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 guests?'

'Got anything smaller?'

"... Till death us do part."

"Shouldn't you say something about an exit strategy?"

"Of course contributing to Sally's wedding gift is strictly voluntary...naturally I'llave to list you as not contributing on the company website!"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

'No, but thanks for asking.'

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

'And do you, Leslie Farnsworth promise to stop wearing camouflage so that your wife will know where you are?'

"Horace, what are we doing on the same cloud? Our vows said 'till death do us part.'"

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

"His note says the bachelor party was so great, he's decided to remain a bachelor."

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

'You can't just nod. You have to say, I do. Good Lord. Are all mimes this annoying, or is it just you?'

When Female Leopards Marry.

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'The response is 'I do.' Not 'Whatever she says.''

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'