Wedding Planner Humor Gifts

In it for the long haul.

"What what of all the dates I couldn't save, Jimmy."

'Seven days' free approval or no - I tell you it's stuck!'

'Remove this - it's libelous!'

'I'll have to check my engagements book and see if I can fit you in'.

'Lorna?! Jack?! So how long has THIS been going on?'

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 guests?'

'Got anything smaller?'

"... Till death us do part."

"Shouldn't you say something about an exit strategy?"

"Of course contributing to Sally's wedding gift is strictly voluntary...naturally I'llave to list you as not contributing on the company website!"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

Barry's fear of commitment crops up again.

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

"His note says the bachelor party was so great, he's decided to remain a bachelor."

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

'And do you, Leslie Farnsworth promise to stop wearing camouflage so that your wife will know where you are?'

"Horace, what are we doing on the same cloud? Our vows said 'till death do us part.'"

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

Just married.

Groom carries bride across threshold, goes back to carry in mother-in-law.

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."