Wedding Guest Gifts

'Yes it's the brides prerogative to be late, but not a week.'

"Hi, I'm on the train."

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

'And do you, Desiree, take plan B to be your lawfully wedded...'

"You really whipped it in there."

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

"Boy am I in trouble! How was I supposed to know that what I was scratching is called a "Wedding Dress"? She's so mad right now!"

"Has anybody seen the groom?"

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'I always cry at weddings!'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 hundred guests?'

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

"Just one more round guys...then I've got to get back to the church!"

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

Wedding Selfie

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

"Now, to continue our argument before we were interrupted..."

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it'

'Hey! is that a good fit or not?'

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it!'

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

Hats and Greetings

"Remember when we used to wonder whether to kiss on the first date?"

'You wished to see the house red?'

Wedding cake figures having marital problems.

'Brew?'

Gay marriages in France.