Wedding Celebrants Gifts

Just married - newlyweds drag a waterskier.

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

A couple dressed as a knife and fork

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

"You may now let me go try to get the sand out of my shoes and suit just in time for my next beach wedding."

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"Nobody told me it was a dress down wedding day!"

'...till death, or a really huge argument over ringtones, do you part.'

His and Hers Wedding

You made me love you.

"We fear no more for today is our Independence Day!"

Men can show their emotions!

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 hundred guests?'

"Just one more round guys...then I've got to get back to the church!"

Wedding Selfie

"Oh, just great, Dick. How are things going with you?"

"Boy am I in trouble! How was I supposed to know that what I was scratching is called a "Wedding Dress"? She's so mad right now!"

Congratulations!

'Here comes our order.'

"...and if you both can successfully complete this CAPTCHA, we'll continue with the vows."

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

"You may now begin your insane experiment."

"Yes, I do need an answer right now."

When stars marry: 'Why did you ask him first? Does he have top billing?'

"Reverend John Ship performed the nuptials. Attorney Thomas Sims performed the prenuptials."

'Are you serious? I thought 'For Better or for Worse' was just a comic strip.'

'Go forth and multiply!'

'And do you, Desiree, take plan B to be your lawfully wedded...'

Free love