Wedding Attendee Gifts

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'I always cry at weddings!'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

"Nobody told me it was a dress down wedding day!"

'...till death, or a really huge argument over ringtones, do you part.'

His and Hers Wedding

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 hundred guests?'

'They call it the people dance.'

Wedding Selfie

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"...and if you both can successfully complete this CAPTCHA, we'll continue with the vows."

"Boy am I in trouble! How was I supposed to know that what I was scratching is called a "Wedding Dress"? She's so mad right now!"

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

'Hey! is that a good fit or not?'

'Are you serious? I thought 'For Better or for Worse' was just a comic strip.'

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it!'

'And do you, Desiree, take plan B to be your lawfully wedded...'

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may send the bride a kiss emoji."

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"Ah, here it is - the Wedding Service app."

Hats and Greetings

'We have an objection from Mrs. Weber...'

'I give it six months.'

"What's my collar size?"

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

'I think you're rocking the bold look, too!'

"They're both in telemarketing."

'It will be a big wedding, I invited all 2679 of my facebook friends,'

Groom flees wedding

'Not quite the action shot we were going for!'