Web Weaver Watcher Gifts

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Squirrel on the beach

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

"We'll analyze the only thing left to analyze: what people throw away."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

Scales

"It's a Mexican Wave!!"

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Fat man on scales.

"Thanks again, kid!"