Web Weaving Wizard Gifts

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

A violin spider and a saxaphone spider

Arts and crafts

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

Gerald Ratner's return

Woman knitting a washing line.

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

This is Pandora, our new Content Manager.

"Before we decide that SEO is dead, can someone tell me what SEO is?"

'I guess this is what we get for going to a discount web-page designer.'

The imagery attacks the compalcency of the casual web surfer and uses a visual cacophony of discordant images to excite and enthusethe casual visitor...

Websiteless -- please help.

'Let's put it this way, your Billy is the only kid in class without his own website,,,'

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

"I wish whoever hacked my site would let me know what my password is."

The internet providing marketing, research, and data collection.

I have a homepage, therefore I am.

"Nothing all week. This is what happens when you scrimp on marketing."

'No, I'm not a connoisseur, but I do have a website.'

"Looks like business is picking up."

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

"My website has fewer impressions than Frank Caliendo."

"How come some media companies are so shy of web recruitment?" "Anorak-naphobia?"

'If it hurts when you make webs, Dear, maybe you should see a spin doctor.'