Web Weaver Watcher T-Shirts

Spider Preschool.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

Squirrel on the beach

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

"We'll analyze the only thing left to analyze: what people throw away."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

Jackson Pollock the Spider

Scales

Fat man on scales.

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"It's a Mexican Wave!!"